In the Mystery Shack, Stanford was watching his brother hide behind the counter. Stanley peeked through the bobble-heads that looked like Grantie Mae and smirked at a pretty girl that was reading a note he gave her.
Stanford sighed as he watched the predictable outcome- the girl crumbling up the note and throwing it away, "Listen, Lee," he spoke up. "I understand you're getting interested in girls and all, but could you tone it down a notch?"
"Not until I get a girlfriend, Ford," Stanley said with determination. "Now that we're out of New Jersey, I want to find the perfect girl to date me."
Ford frowned, "That doesn't mean flirting with every girl you see. Remember when you tried hitting on that lady with the pet turtle? She looked at least ten years older than you!"
"I have a thing for older women, so what?"
Another sigh, "We're twelve, Lee."
"Yeah, but by the end of the summer, we'll be thirteen! Besides, I have a good feeling about your summer romance too, Fordzy. Too bad nobody knows that you're ga-"
Stanford covered Lee's mouth with his hands and blushed a deep red, "Be quiet! I don't want you telling anyone about that!" He pulled his hands back after feeling Stanley blow a raspberry on his gloves, "STANLEY!"
Lee chuckled in amusement. Ford wiped his glove dry with his jacket while Stanley continued. "But trust me, Ford. I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the woman of my dreams walked through that door right now."
Right as Lee said that and pointed at the door, Grantie Mae walked in through there slouching and burping, but her burp got caught in her throat, and she ended up coughing.
"Eww! Why?!" Lee yelled, while Ford laughed.
"Alright, everyone," Grantie Mae smiled, "I need someone to go hammer these signs in the spooky part of the forest," she held up several signs and a hammer.
"Not it!" Ford yelled quickly.
"Also not it!" Followed Stanley.
Mae's cleaning lady, Ria, ignored the conversation while vacuuming to look busy.
Grantie Mae sighed and turned to her other, and last employee, Danny Corduroy, "Daniel, I need you to put up these signs for me please!"
Danny was leaning back in his seat behind the register while reading a magazine. Without interest, he pretended to reach out for the signs, "I would, but I, ugh, I can't… reach!"
Mae groaned, "Fine. If you're going to be that way, then I guess I'll choose. Eenie, meenie, miney, you," she pointed at Stanford.
"Aw!" Ford groaned. "But Grantie Mae! I always feel weird whenever I'm in those woods- like I'm being watched."
Grantie Mae shook her head, "I've been in those woods hundreds of times, kiddo. How many times do I have to tell you that nothing scary is in there?"
"Except maybe bears," Stanley teased.
"But look at my mosquito bites!" Ford pulled off his jacket to show the bites. "It says, 'BEWARE'!"
Mae squinted at it, "That says, "BEWARB", Stanford. The local legends you hear about in those woods are just that. Legends. You'll be just fine, and I'll be making cookies by the time you're done."
"YES!" Stanley cheered.
Ford sighed in defeat and took the signs and the hammer, "Fine, but don't come crying to me if I end up getting eaten by a two-headed duck or something," he mumbled before leaving.
Once he was gone, Stanley smiled at Mae, "What kind of cookies are you gonna make, Grantie Mae?"
"It's my secret glitter cookie recipe! And the secret ingredient… is glitter!"
Stanley suddenly lost interest in the cookies…
Later, Ford was putting up his last sign, and he was deep inside the forest by now. It was getting foggy, and if it weren't for the other signs he had placed, he would have lost his way for sure. He took out a nail to hammer it into a tree trunk, but when he hit it with a hammer, he heard a metal clanging.
"What is this?" he wondered. The tree stump, he discovered, wasn't a tree stump at all. It was made of metal, so he opened a secret window to find two switches. Stanford tested the first switch, but nothing happened, so he tried the second one. He heard a creaking sound and turned around to see what is was. A hole had opened up a distance behind him that scared away Mae's pig, Waddles.
Stanford slowly looked inside the hole. Inside it was a dusty, old book. It was a dark blue with three silver pine trees connected to each other side by side on the front. Curiosity took over him as Stanford opened the book, his eyes filled with wonder. He found an eye-glass within it, and on the first page, it said, "Property of", but the rest of the sentence was ripped out from the book. He closed the book to look at the back cover, where it showed a golden constellation of the big dipper.
Ford looked up from the book for a moment to see if anyone was watching him, but when he saw nothing, he moved to a different part of the forest to continue reading it on an old log, "It's hard to believe it's been years since I began learning about the weird and amazing secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon," he read out loud. He flipped through the pages, read the content, and looked through the illustrations. It all baffled him. There were codes, inscriptions, and illustrations that showed creatures that were known to be mythological or from fantasy. Monsters were mentioned in the book too, and some pages Ford had no idea what to make of them.
"What is all this?" He stops at a page, where in all capitals, it read "TRUST NO ONE!". Ford read the rest out loud, "Unfortunately, my suspicions are correct. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: In Gravity Falls, there is no one you can trust," he closed the journal and took it all in. "No one you can trust…"
"HELLO!" Stanley jumped out from behind the log.
"AH!" Ford screamed. "LEE!"
"What'cha got there, Poindexter? One of your nerd books?"
Ford instinctively hid the book behind his back, "It's- it's nothing."
"Liar, liar, pants on fire," Stanley laughed. "Come on, broford. Just show me!"
Waddles had already started nibbling on the book, so Ford pulled it away from him, "Let's go somewhere private."
Back at the Mystery Shack, Ford and Lee went to their shared bedroom on the first floor near the living room, "It's amazing," Ford said, flipping through the pages. "Grantie Mabel said there wasn't anything going on in Gravity Falls, but this book proves otherwise! It says here that this town has a secret dark side!"
"Whoa! That's pretty awesome," Stanley admitted. Usually he isn't into this kind of stuff, but something about the journal got his interest as well.
"And you won't believe this!" Ford continued. "After a certain point, the pages just stop. It was as if the person writing it mysteriously vanished," from their room, Ford could hear the doorbell ringing. "Who's that?" He asked.
"Well," Stanley smirked, looking much too proud of himself, "this guy has a date!"
"What? You mean you were able to find a girlfriend in the thirty minutes I was gone?!"
"What can I say, Stanford? The ladies must find me irresistible."
Ford scoffed, "The only thing irresistible here is the urge to roll my eyes," he mumbled.
Stanley ignored him. The doorbell rang again, and he ran out to open the door. Ford followed, just to see who his brother's new girlfriend was.
Grantie Mae was in the living room when Stanley opened the door. On the other side was a tall girl with pale skin and brown hair that covered up part of her face. She was wearing a dark, old, heavy sweatshirt despite the warm weather. The most unusual part about her was that she had a large twig sticking out of her hoodie, but Stanford decided against mentioning it out of politeness.
"This is my new girlfriend," Stanley smiled. "Her name is Norma."
"Aww!" Grantie Mae cooed. "My little man's first date! And she's so pretty!"
"Hey," Norma nodded at them. Stanford frowned. There were some immediate bad signs about her that he couldn't ignore- especially right after discovering the journal that said 'TRUST NO ONE'.
Stanley leaned against the wall, "Yeah, she's pretty awesome. We met in the woods. She's into poetry, video games, and wrestling. So, I guess you can say that I found the jackpot."
There was something red dripping from her cheek, "Are you bleeding, Norma?" Ford asked.
"That's just jam," she shrugged off.
Stanley laughed, "Yep. You know who else likes jam? This guy!" He pointed at himself.
"So, you wanna hold hands or… something?"
Lee gasped, "Yes!" He turned to Ford and Mae. "I'll see you guys later!"
Stanley ran out the door, and Norma followed him, after bumping into the wall twice.
"Aren't they adorable together, Stanford?" Grantie Mae asked sweetly. She didn't wait for a response. "Well, better get those glitter cookies out of the oven. I wonder if Norma would like a batch to take home?"
Ford narrowed his eyes as he watched his brother leave with his new girlfriend. There's something about her that's not right, he thought. Before Mae could return with the cookies, he rushed back in his room to consult the journal.
After looking through the book, Ford found a page with an illustration of a creature of the undead, "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for… teenagers? Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious…" Ford gasped, noticing the connection between Norma and the picture.
From the kitchen, Grantie Mae paused for a moment, confused by the sudden noise, "Did somebody say 'crombie'? What's a crombie? Is… is that even a word? Huh… I'm getting old…"
Stanford shut the book and held it to his chest while he regained his breath. He peeked out the window, where he could barely see his brother with Norma. She didn't look like she was about to eat Stanley's brains, but after reading what was written in the journal, Ford couldn't help but feel paranoid, "Is my brother really dating a zombie, or am I just overreacting?" He asked himself.
A vacuum suddenly turned on, and Ford gasped in shock. He turned to see that it was just Ria cleaning the room, "Let me tell you, niño," she began, "there are no such thing as zombies or creatures that go bump in the night. You're hermano is fine."
Frustration swept through Ford as he glared at her, "But, Ria, you've seen Lee's girlfriend, right? She's gotta be a zombie!"
She turned off the vacuum and looked over at him, "How many brains did you see her eat?"
Ford sighed and looked down, "Zero."
"My point exactly. Stanley's girlfriend is not a zombie, and there is no way to prove otherwise. Keep saying things like that around town, and everybody will think you're loco."
Before Stanford could retaliate, Ria unplugged the vacuum to clean the next room, "I have work to do. Stay out of trouble, Pines."
Stanford wanted to believe Ria. He wanted to think that this journal just sparked up his imagination and gave him the crazy notion that Norma was somehow a zombie. He wanted to believe that Norma is just a strange girl that happened to like his brother, but he couldn't. Something about her made him feel uneasy. He knew that something was up. My brother could be in trouble, he thought. It's time to get some evidence…
It was difficult, but Ford was able to use a camera to get footage of Stanley and Norma without getting caught. He spied on them all day, and when he was done, he felt he had all the evidence he needed.
Lee was in their shared bedroom practicing his boxing moves when Ford entered, "Lee, we have to talk about Norma."
Stanley stopped what he was doing to take a sip of water, "Isn't she great? Dude, she punched a window today!"
"No, listen, Stanley! Your girlfriend isn't what she seems," Ford warned him. "Look!"
He opened the journal to show the page to Stanley, who only looked at it in confusion before chuckling, "You really believe that she's a pixie?"
"What?" Ford looked to see that he showed him the wrong page. "Oh, sorry," he flipped to the proper page. "Look!"
Stanley still looked unconvinced, "A zombie? Really, Ford?"
"I'm serious," he said. Ford paced in front of his brother. "It all adds up. The bleeding, the limp, breaking through the window! Why would she do that?"
Lee narrowed his eyes, "Maybe because she's awesome and doesn't listen to the rules!"
"But the journal! It says, 'Trust no one'!" Ford reminded him.
"Yeah," Lee scoffed, "well, I'm your brother, aren't I? Aren't you going to trust me?"
"Of course I trust you, Stanley! It's Norma I don't trust!"
"Then trust me when I say that that dumb book of yours has gotten to your head," Stanley stomped in front of Ford. "Norma and I are going on a date at five o'clock, and I'm not going to let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!" Stanley pushed Ford, causing him to fall hard on the ground, before he left the room and slammed the door behind him.
It took a while for the shock to go away, but when it did, Ford could already hear Stanley leaving for his date. He sighed and sat up, "What am I going to do?" he asked. He noticed the camera left on the floor near him, and he looked through the footage again. "Ria and Stanley are right. I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and-" Ford paused when he looked closer at the footage. On the camera, Norma's hand fell off without Stanley noticing, and she glanced around before reattaching it. "OH MY GOSH!" He gasped. "I WAS RIGHT!"
Suddenly filled with panic and adrenaline, Ford ran outside, "Grantie Mae! Grantie Mae! Grantie Mae!" He ran outside to where she was on a stage in front of a small crowd of tourists.
"And over here is a face rock. It's a rock that looks like a face."
"Does it look like a rock?" One of them asked.
"No, it looks like a face."
"Is it a face?"
Mae sighed, "It's a rock that looks like a face!"
Ford tried to get her attention, but Grantie Mae was far too busy with the tourists to even hear him.
"I've said it five times! It's not actually a face!"
Stanford groaned and gave up on that plan. He looked around to see Danny driving the golf cart, "Danny! Danny! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my brother from a zombie!"
Without protest, Danny gave Ford the key and walked off, "There's a shovel in the back. Try not to hit anyone."
Stanford mentally thanked the teenager, before hopping on the cart and driving off.
Meanwhile, Stanley and Norma are alone in the woods. Norma looked around before she spoke, "Uh, Stanley, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's… there's something I should tell you," she sighed.
Stanley smiled, "You can tell me anything you want, Norma."
She sighed, before she removed her jacket. Underneath was not a teenage girl, but actually a bunch of pixies stacked on top of each other holding a mask and fake hands. Stanley stared up at them in total shock.
"Um… Stanley?" The pixie on top asked. Her voice had risen by three octaves. "Are you okay?"
Stanley didn't respond. He kept staring at them dumbly.
"Well, now you know our secret. We're pixies," she confessed. "My name is Princess Janet," she introduced. "That's Carly, Stephanie, Jane, and… um… I'm sorry," she apologized to the last one. "I keep forgetting your name."
"Shmebula," the last pixie said in a gruff voice.
"Thank you!" Janet smiled. "Shmebula!" she turned back to Stanley. "Listen, Stanley. The thing is, we need a new king, and you fit the bill. So, what do you say? Will you marry us?" she asked politely.
The shock finally wore off when he was asked that question, "N-No, I-I'm sorry, ladies," he apologized, backing away slowly. "I'm not really interested in marrying you, so I'm just gonna pretend that none of this ever happened and leave."
Stanley turned around to run away, but the pixies casted a magical wall in front of him that he couldn't get through.
"I don't think you understand," Princess Janet began. "The thing is, now that you know about us, you don't really have a choice. If you won't marry us, then we'll have to use force," she pointed at him. "Get him, girls."
Stanley's screams and cries for help could be heard from the distance. Luckily, Ford was close, "Hold on, Stanley!" he yelled. "I'll save you from the zombie!" When he got there, he expected to see his brother being attacked by a zombie. Instead, he was tied down, and surrounding him was a bunch of pixies.
"What is going on here?" he asked. In response, one of the pixies hissed at him.
"Ford!" Lee yelled, struggling to break free from the ropes. "Norma turned out to be a bunch of pixies! They want me to marry them!"
"Pixies?! Wow, I was off," Stanford mumbled. He pulled the journal out to find the relevant page and read out loud, "Pixies, otherwise known as 'trickster fairies' have magical abilities used for defense. While their weaknesses are unknown, I theorize that they can be defeated using similar methods as gnomes- by blowing them away using a leaf blower!" When Stanford lowered the book, the pixies were starting to take Stanley away.
"Hey!" he yelled. "Let go of my brother!"
Princess Janet turned around to fly in front of the other boy and laugh, "Oh, don't be ridiculous. We're not planning on hurting your brother. We're just going to have him marry all one thousand of us and make him our king for eternity. Isn't that right, Sugar?" She asked Stanley.
"Don't call me that, you butt-face!" He screamed.
Ford picked up the shovel from the cart and pointed it at the pixie, "Let him go now, or else," he growled.
"You think you can stop me?" she teased. "Do you have any idea who I am? I am Princess Janet of the pixies! Don't you dare trifle with the-"
Ford swung his shovel at her, causing her to fly backwards screaming. Once she was out of sight, he used the shovel to cut his brother free.
"Quick! In the cart!" Ford ordered. Lee didn't object. They ran to the golf cart and drove away as fast as they could. When nothing happened, Ford sighed with relief. "I think we lost them," he smiled.
Stanley looked behind them in horror as he shook his head, "No, we didn't!"
Ford looked in the rear-view mirror and gasped. The pixies were flying after them. There were hundreds of them! Ford hit the gas harder to try to get away. Both were screaming as they drove through the forest.
"FASTER!" Stanley yelled.
"I'm going as fast as I can!"
A magical wall formed in front of them, and Ford had to slow down to turn. By doing so, the pixies caught up to them and started attacking them. Ford and Lee kicked and swung at them while Ford continued to drive. Ford ran the golf cart into a fallen tree, and the twins screamed as the cart overturned. They landed right next to the Mystery Shack.
"Stanley, quick! Find the leaf blower!" Ford yelled.
Stanley did as he was told and ran past Grantie Mae, who didn't bother to look at him because she was showing the tourists the world's most distracting object.
Ford was left cornered by the pixies. The princess approached him, "Well," she sighed. "If we can't marry your brother, then it looks like we'll just have to marry you instead," she insisted.
An idea formed, and Ford nodded, "Yeah, I'll marry you," he agreed. "Just as long as you leave Stanley alone."
The pixies squealed with joy, "Fantastic!" Princess Janet smiled. "Now come over here and give me a kiss, sweetie."
Just in time, Stanley came back with the leaf blower, and he used it to suck the pixie into the nozzle before she could kiss Ford. The pixie screamed, before getting sucking halfway into the leaf blower.
"Wanna do the honors?" Lee asked.
"On three," Ford replied.
"One, two, three!" They aimed the leaf blower at the other pixies and switch it to 'blow'. The princess pixie went flying back at the swarm.
"RETREAT!" She cried. "RETREAT!" She looked back at the twins, "I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!"
After all the pixies fled back into the forest, Stanley frowned at the ground, "Um, Stanford? I um… I'm sorry for ignoring you earlier," he apologized. "You really were just looking out for me."
"You don't have to apologize," Ford said. "Besides, you did save me back there."
Lee sighed, "Too bad my first girlfriend turned out to be a bunch of pixies..."
"Don't worry, Lee. We still have plenty of summer left for your next summer romance," Ford assured.
"Thanks, Ford," Lee smiled.
Ford lifted up his hand, "High six?"
Stanley high-fived him, "High six."
When they made it back to the Mystery Shack, their grantie noticed their injuries, "What on Earth happened to you two?" she asked.
"Uh, we were playing pirates," Ford lied.
Grantie Mae chuckled, "Alright. Since you two had such an exciting day playing, and since Ford put up those signs," she added, "how about I let you each have one item from the gift shop? On the house."
"Cool!" They cheered. The twins looked through the items. Stanley found his gift quickly. It was a t-shirt with a crescent-shaped symbol on it, and he put the shirt on over the striped one.
"I'm keeping this!" He confirmed.
Stanford kept looking through the gift shop until he found a crossbow in one of the boxes.
"This'll do the trick," he smiled. "Grantie Mae? Can I have this crossbow?".
She shrugged, "None of the customers will buy it, so why not?"
"YES!" Ford cheered. He tested it out, and shot an arrow at the ceiling. "CROSSBOW!"
That night, Ford and Lee were in their room. Ford was busy writing away in the journal. This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust, he wrote. Ford glanced at Lee. But when you battle a hundred pixies side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back.
"Hey, Ford? Could you get the lights?" Lee asked.
Stanford set the book aside to shoot the crossbow at the lantern. The lantern shattered, but the light went out, "It works!" he laughed. Lee laughed with him.
Our aunt told us there was nothing strange about this town, but who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.
Meanwhile, Mae held onto a lantern in her nightgown, and she walked into the gift shop. She stopped in front of a vending machine that read "OUT OF ORDER" and punched in a code. The vending machine opened, revealing a secret passageway. Mae looked around to make sure she wasn't being watched, and walked in, closing the vending machine behind her.